You’re Not Special

Don’t freak out about the title. Let me explain. Sometimes you need to hear you aren’t special. Sometimes you need to hear that you are just like everyone else and the shit you are going through is just like them too. Sometimes you need to call that one person who will always call you on your bullshit or point out that everyone is going through something just like you. You aren’t special. Not always. For me the person who reminds me I am but a mortal is my mom. She kicks ass. I’ve been going through a lot of stuff lately that I have been keeping to myself. I live in a small town where I don’t know a lot of people. I don’t keep in touch with a lot of my old friends from home either, which leads to a feeling of isolation. So the stress and struggles that I have been dealing with seem much worse than they are because I haven’t been talking about them with anyone or hearing anyone else’s problems either. It has seemed like I am the only one who has ever felt the way I feel now, like I am the only person ever to have these exact struggles. Another contributing factor to these feelings is spending a lot of time on social media. These are just the highlight reels of other people’s life. While a lot of big social media influencers claim transparency, and really put themselves out there so you can see their struggles and fears, it’s not the same as talking with your best friend about the mean thing your boyfriend said and didn’t really mean. Or opening up to your grandparents that you can’t afford the supplements you take to manage your autoimmune disease because rent and your car insurance are due.
So I finally talked to my mom. And we talk every day. Literally every day even if it’s just “Hey what’s up? Walking the dogs so they can poop. Ok have fun, love you bye.” But this time I unloaded. It was way more contained than I expected- I expected hysterical bawling, oh poor me shit but everything else had gone so wrong that day that I was past “Poor me” and onto “Screw this, screw them, screw you!” so I was able to articulate a little better. While she sympathized and hated that I was struggling and wished she could do more to help, she did it better. She did the one thing she has always done. She told me that the financial struggles are something I have allowed to happen to myself and told me to rationalize how to solve them. She told me the fights I have been having with my boyfriend are fights every relationship has. That I am in fact in a relationship with a man that has a lot of typical man traits. She always tells me that she thinks my boyfriend and I have a better chance of lasting than most people but in the end we are both very normal people with common problems. What makes us different is the conviction to the choice we made to be together. She also reminded me that being a woman often times means feeling unappreciated and giving everything of yourself and not receiving it back. This is the only thing that I wasn’t 100% in agreement on. I believe you can create a life of giving that gives backs. And that’s the big dream, right? Sharing your talents, knowledge and skills with the world and having the world respond, appreciate what you do, ask for more and maybe even pay you for it!
So there’s that. I know these posts weave in and out of one basic theme quite frequently so I guess the takeaway is┬áthat when you feel overwhelmed by life and feel alone in these problems, talk to someone that truly knows you aren’t all that special. By taking away the idea that you alone have these problems and realizing that other people have lived through it already, you can figure out your own way to live through it in your own special way.
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